Feeling behind? Two tips I shared with my friend

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Yesterday I was on a phone call with a dear friend of mine. She was having trouble with her self-esteem and not feeling “enough” after seeing how other people around her seemed to have perfect lives.

Have you ever felt this way?

Maybe you look at people’s “perfect” lives on social media and it makes you feel really bad about yourself. Like you’re not good enough and you’re behind everybody else.

Maybe you know someone who’s really fluent in English and you feel frustrated that your English is not as good as theirs. So you feel demotivated and put yourself down for how bad your English is.

This friend asked me to share what she could do to get past these feelings. So I wanted to share my advice here with you today because this may be something you’re going through too.

These are two practical tips you can apply straight away whenever you find yourself comparing your life or situation with another person’s.

1) Grab a pen and notebook and define success for yourself.

What are the goals you want to achieve right now? It has to be something that excites you, gives you joy and inspires you. Write those goals down and start planning the next steps to achieve those goals.

When you start reaching for meaningful goals, you’ll stop worrying about what other people are doing because you’re on your own unique path.

Did you hear that? You’re on your own unique path.

You can’t compare yourself with others because other people are on their own unique paths too. So stay on your lane and stay focused on your own goals. Your goals and dreams deserve the attention they need from you.

2) Create more, consume less.

You have limited time and energy each day. Instead of channeling that time and energy on looking, watching or reading up on people’s lives on social media (which will make you compare your life to theirs), use that limited time and energy to create something.

Do something you love–perhaps it’s writing, drawing, cooking, or playing with your children. Create something or create memories for yourself.

If you’re feeling envy or jealousy, it’s because you’ve been consuming more than you’ve been creating. It’s time to start unfollowing some people in your social media so that you’re focused on creating meaningful moments for yourself.

Remember, you have limited time and energy each day. Just imagine how much you could achieve, or how much other people could benefit from your time and energy if you spent it on things that matter.  

So these are my two tips for today.

Please remember, you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now.

Don’t compare your life to other people’s lives. They are exactly where they need to be too. And nobody has a perfect life, trust me. Everybody has their own struggles.

What people share on social media is not reality–it’s only how they want the world to perceive them.

So whenever you’re feeling behind or not “enough” when you compare yourself to others, remember these two tips. I hope it helps you to stay motivated on your goals and to keep going.

Do you want to speak English with confidence?

Sign up to join our free video training, Speaking with Confidence. We’ll send you seven tips to your email address!

Here’s Tip 1 for a sneak peek of what’s in store for you.

Hi there!

We’re Azimah, Amnah and Aisya from Malaysia. We created My English Matters as an online platform to help people improve their English.

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